Monday, October 22, 2012

Can you be a Christian and Support Same Sex Marriage?

I think so, yes.
 
Since today is the first day to early vote in my state, I thought I would share a bit about my views on being a Christian and also supporting same sex marriage.

I am not a theology scholar by a long shot, I am just throwing that out there.  I am only slightly familiar with the passages that condemn homosexuality in the bible.  And I won't bore you with the tired arguments that people make for and against these passages.  The bible is full of contradictions, I am well aware.  Being an Orthodox Christian, our premise and goal is to keep the ancient faith.  The church that Jesus himself established 2000+ years ago is what we strive to stay true to.  So that is my background as far as my religious point of view.

I am also a big fan of separation of church and state.  Even though I am a Christian and so are a lot of other people, I don't think everyone is doing it right.  Nor do I think there could never be a time when the majority of citizens in this country are Jewish, or Muslim.  You never know.  So I like the fact that we are all equally protected to do as we please under our constitution, and have the right to be left alone as we do it. 

So yeah.  Marriage.  I remember dreaming about being married and how awesome it would be when I was single.  Love and romance and the comfort of knowing they too wanted to be with me for forever.  And eventually we will have a little family of our own, and go to Disney World, and be so happy, for forever.  Easy right?  I don't mean to shatter any dreams of any single readers, but this is where the record player comes screeching to a halt.  Being married is really hard sometimes.  Most days it is great, and I come home and my favorite person is there to make me laugh, or hear about the latest work drama.  But then sometimes when we are on day 3 of picking fights with each other about really dumb stuff, I just want to scream f* this!  and then go back to my cozy little apartment and live my single life again, and not have to think about anyone but me. 

Marriage is one of 7 holy sacraments in my church.  "In every sacrament there is a combination of an outward visible sign with an inward spiritual grace." (source)  So basically it is like a gift from God for our salvation.  Most of the church stuff we do, is for our own healing.  We are taught that man is in a fallen state, we are all sinners, and the church is our hospital.  So when we attend services on Sunday, fast during certain times, confess and repent our sins; they are all to make us better Christians.  The whole point of it is to kill your own ego, and obey God.  Because what you want at any given instant is usually bad for your soul, and/or the easy way out.  Screaming obscenities and leaving is the easy way out of the challenge of being married.  But if I stay and love Aaron even when it is super hard for me, learn to accept him and respect him as my husband, I am being a better person, a better Christian, and making God happy.  And keeping my ego in check.  I know nothing, and I forget that a lot.  Is anyone a fan of Sisterwives, like I am?  While I think Polygamy is ridiculous, I can see from a vantage point how sharing a husband can be beneficial for your soul in an ego killing way.  You don't have to just love someone when they are frustrating you to your core, you have to deal with jealousy too.  It is ridiculous because of course the man doesn't have to fight the same fights you do, I think his ego only gets bigger with the more wives he gets.  I digress.

So if homosexuality is a sin, I guess it is a sin.  But it shouldn't be demonized any more than every other sin that you are sinning.  They are all one in the same.  We all have crosses to bear in our spiritual life, some bigger than others.  I am a glutton.  Sometimes I am a liar.  I get really angry sometimes.  I don't love my neighbor anywhere near as much as I should.  I am selfish.  I covet.  My name is Natalie, and I am a sinner.  And really, according to Aaron who is the closest person I know to being a Bible scholar, only the act of man on man 'adult activity' is specifically condemned per the bible. 

I posed a question to Aaron the other day, as I often do, and it was a conundrum.  If two people of the same sex are married, and are learning the tough lessons of martyrdom to your spouse just as we are; isn't that better (less sinful, if even) than a same sex or even heterosexual person getting down all around town with whomever?  We couldn't come up with a good answer, but my gut says yes. 

I don't know what is a condemnable offense, or what the bible specifically says, or if that is conveying what God even means when he made these 'laws' of life.  But I do know that the overall theme of the entire book, and the entire church is to love one another. 

Romans 13: 8-10
Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. 9 For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not bear false witness,”[a] “You shall not covet,”[b] and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”[c] 10 Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

So as I see it, if you are doing things with love, you are obeying God.  Simple as that.   

As the state sees my marriage, is quite another thing.  Aaron and I can file a joint tax return and get a little tax break.  I can visit him in the hospital.  I can have his social security benefits if he dies before me.  We are each responsible for each other's debts.  Plus a dozen other things depending on your personal situation.  It is just a bunch of legal mumbo-jumbo.  And frankly, I don't want any church business involved in it.  And I don't see any reason aside from a church reason why this couldn't apply to any two consenting adults.  If a church wants to deny people who want to be married, I think that is within their rights, but there should be no reason for the government to deny that to its citizens. 

So that is my two cents.  I will be casting my vote for the Democrats this year.  Don't you just love politics and religion on a wedding blog?  LOL




2 comments:

Lindsey said...

I read the whole thing :)

I liked it.

I don't talk about politics or religion anymore. With anyone. I believe what I belive and I support whomever I chose to support and I don't care what you think and whatever I say, MOST LIKELY won't change your point of view. And that's fine.

Regarding religion, I know the bible says spread the word but I feel like in these days, actions speak louder than words. Period.

said...

I 100% agree with actions speaking louder than words.

I thing it is important to tread carefully when discussing any touchy subjects, but I like hearing other's views because they help me reexamine my own and they evolve when I see fit. I think it is important for everyone who cares to be a part of the dialogue.

I think a lot of people go about it wrong and set themselves up for conflict by either being irrationally angry about stuff, or by trying to be a salesman of their ideas.

I hope that others I engage with feel that I am coming from a place of inquiry/trying to understand their view and if I disagree I can do so respectfully without anyones feelings getting hurt.

Moral of the story, I wish the world/society/myself would be better problem solvers, and I think the best way to solve problems is to fully understand them and their implications/effects from a logical standpoint and go from there.