A and I have been engaged for about 2 months now. This happened a week or so before Thanksgiving 2010, so I thought it was best to wait until after all of the holidays before we start stressing ourselves out with wedding planning things. Well that time is now!
Don't get me wrong, I am so excited to be planning my wedding that I dabbled in all the different areas while the holidays were in full swing. I mean, I checked out wedding bands (rings, not music), wedding bands (music, not rings), venues, cake makers, photographers, dresses, shoes, rehearsal dinner locales, etc. So just a few things, no biggie. And shortly thereafter I began to nearly have panic attacks when I think of everything that needs to be done. My brain was exploding.
I really wish I were the type of person who can just see something they love, get it, and call it a day. I am too much of a second guesser. I can only feel comfortable with my decision after I have seen all things available to me. And then once I see all things available, I have to go into analysis mode, because though I may not value my time as much as I should, I do value my money - and want to get the most bang for my buck regardless of how many bucks that is. ie: I'd spend $500 on a gently used Romona Keveza dress from ebay before I'd spending it paying full price for a brand new dress made from polyester and has wonky seams due to mass production quality issues. But for some people, a white dress is a white dress, and others will pay any price to have their dress bring them to tears because it is so perfect. I get it though, I mean who doesn't want to look stunning, but it is going to come down to wearing the Carolina Herrera dress and having the party at the airport HoJo? But if money is no object, by all means, have it all!
Ok back on topic.
So before I pick colors and bridesmaids and cake flavors I need to figure out two things.
1. The Wedding Mission Statement
2. The Budget
What am I talking about, wedding mission statement? When I think mission statement, I think of what I want at the very basic level of all of this. I believe that coming up with a basic goal will help us when making the bazillion decisions we are going to be making during this process. Especially when making budgetary decisions. I've seen it all over wedding TV - that brides get so hung up on one tiny detail that they MUST HAVE that has me scratching my head because when you think 'big picture' this thing is a waste of money, or time stressing about it. Easy for me to say, being on the outside I guess. But if my goal is to have a day where I am at my most beautiful, I will have no problems serving chicken instead of prime rib while spending my funds on hair extensions, teeth whitening, and a super fierce dress. And if you can't come up with a good mission statement then at least figure what is most important to your day and make that your focus.
My wedding mission statement?
It is still a work in progress, but if I had to say right now: I want our wedding to be really big, really fun, and 'us'.
A doesn't have a huge family, and they don't seem to be all that close, but I hope they all can make the trip to Houston for our wedding. I, on the other hand, come from a Hispanic family, so there are TONS of us. But I wouldn't want it any other way! They are all so dear to me, that I couldn't even imagine having such an important day without everyone I love there with us. And then I want it to be fun. When I think back to other weddings I have been to - I don't really remember what the bride was wearing (they always look beautiful and are wearing white(or green!)), I don't usually remember where it was unless it was somewhere extra fancy or really unfancy, I don't remember the food unless it was outstanding, I probably threw out the favor I got because it sat in my car for weeks - but I do remember the general amount of fun that I had. Fun can be traced back to many elements, I know. But I don't doubt that my analytical side can more or less figure what elements add to the fun of the night. Fancier dress doesn't add to the fun, but a better DJ does...etc. And the 'us' sort of goes without saying. Luckily (or not) A and I are footing the bill for this soiree, so we don't have any pushy decision makers to guide us on how to spend their money (and pressuring us to get stuff that we don't care for). But 'us'. I could probably make a pie chart of us more easily, because we are so many things. We are nerds, we like fancy things but aren't fancy people, we (A way more than myself) are kinda hip, yet also traditional. So throwing the most important party of my life that is 'us' and super fun and that I can invite everyone I want to - it is going to be a job! But I am up for it, and I am so happy/thankful that A and I like the same stuff for the most part, so compromising will be minimal.
Source Source
I have a dream....it is that cake.
Oh yeah, and the budget. This is important. I will make a separate lengthy post on the topic, because I am an accountant and budgets are like my favorite things ever. lol. But since A and I are footing the bill, we don't have much of a cushion to go over the budget. So it is essential to be in the know, and estimate everything we will be buying so we aren't in a situation where we put a non refundable deposit on the ballroom at the St. Regis and don't have money to buy a cake. The flip side of course is true, I don't want to get the cheap everything because I assume we can't come up with a decent chuck of change to have something nice. Eating McNuggets in a wedding gown wondering where my life took a wrong turn...
Budgets are a necessary evil.
But don't let budgets get you down. Having been a bargain hunter all of my days, I can assure you that nice things can be had at ANY price point. You just have to be flexible on the nice things and you will go far. If you absolutely must have that Vera Wang style #8457 dress. You may have to search a long time to find that dress for $1000, and you may never find it before your wedding day. But if you have $1000 to buy 'a designer gown' I could probably go find 12 of them for you right this minute. If you HAVE to have your reception at Hotel Zaza, you may have to serve only cake and punch and have it on a Sunday afternoon, or be prepared to pony up that F&B minimum. But if you want boutique hotel inside the loop, you have several very equally cool options, and probably equally eager to get your business catering managers willing to negotiate.
A and I are totally willing to cut back on our spending this year and combined with (if necessary) spending our whole life savings (which isn't a super ton of money...) because we are both graduate students that 2-3 years from now will have some serious earning potential. Not that we should leave nothing for a rainy day, but if we love something enough, we will consider maxing out the budget. You only get married (for the first time, at least) once, right? ((Of course, that is what wedding vendors want you to feel so you give them all of your cash.... )) Either way, I have mostly gotten our budget together and we are ready to rock.
So yeah, that is that. Now it is onward to venue selections!
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