Why Aaron and I are good for each other

We were made from the same nerd mold...

Aaron and I have a deep and serious love for all things Christmas and we are planning on attending a Home Alone pizza party at our local Alamo Draft House - because few things get you in the spirit of Christmas like Home Alone.

Keep the change, you filthy animal.

So all week we have been totally excited for Saturday.  We are pinching pennies to get this wedding paid for, and are sooo busy with everything that we hardly get time together to just have some fun.  Here is an excerpt of our discussion of the pizza party/budget.

Pssh, Romance is gross.

so much screaming.

Happy Engage-aversary to us!

It was a year ago exactly  - November 12th, about 11pm, when this crazy adventure started.

For at this time last year, Aaron unexpectedly knocked on my door and proposed.  :)

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It was basically just like this.  Magic sparkles and all...

I can't believe it has been a whole year already!  Though sometimes it feels like it has been like 8 years...

Unfortunately Aaron is up in Indiana (Notre Dame to be exact) at a philosophy conference for the weekend.  Maybe we can celebrate this milestone this week sometime.

But for the occasion, I wrote Aaron a love haiku.  I was feeling poetic, lol.

our love had birthday

a year of laughter and smiles

forever seems nice

That was a pretty terrible haiku.  

I love you Aaron!

The 4 CH's - Marriage Counseling with Fr Joseph

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In the Orthodox faith, we don't have a series of pre-martial sessions, we knock it out in an hour!  But a lot can be learned in that hour, which is good.  Last night we met with Fr. Joseph Honeycutt for our session.  Fr. Joseph used to be a priest at our church, but was reassigned to a different church in town.  Our head priest from St. George (our church) used to be Fr. John, but he got reassigned to Oklahoma - which is why we went to see Fr. Joseph.  Anyway, the point of the meeting was to discuss the mundane parts of marriage.  Fr. Joesph presented them in a concise manner of - the 4 CH's

CHeckbook:
Fr. Joseph (and everyone) says the #1 problem he sees with couples is in regards to money.  Some are savers, some are spenders, yadda yadda yadda.  Aaron and I are pretty aware of each other's attitudes about money, and our typical spending habits, the amounts of debt we each have.  I am really grateful that we can openly discuss finances - because it can be so easy to skirt the issue or attempt to hide those maxed out credit cards or that giant student loan.  Fr. Joseph basically suggested that we have one of us be responsible for making sure all the bills get paid, and we have one pot of where all the money goes into.  It is ok to have separate accounts, but there should be no secrecy about how much money is there, and especially how it is being spent because that can cause some serious tension/mistrust etc. that is damaging to your union.  You can't be a psycho about it either though, demanding accountability of every dime, because you don't want that to cause a rift either.   But it was mentioned that transparency has never been a bad thing in a marriage.

CHores
This topic wasn't covered in as much depth as the checkbook, but we talked about the spitting of the household duties.  We discussed how, sure, things are easy now when you just have to tidy up 600 sq ft of mess created by only 2 people, but one day when we have a house and a yard and all of that, it is going to become more of a challenge and we are going to need to help each other.  Though typically, and I don't think we will be the exception, the woman is the neater one(Lord, help us!).  We touched on communication styles a bit in this regard as well.  Am I more direct/passive aggressive when I need something done or help.  It was concluded that the direct approach works well for us - if it is mess we both helped to create, it shouldn't be an issue of asking the other to help in a polite manner.  We also talked about the subtle annoyances.  How there will be certain things about another person that drive you up the wall.  Fr. Joseph had a funny story about how he really likes the toilet paper to roll from the bottom, and his wife doesn't care one way or another.  Well even though she doesn't care, it is just her habit to put it on rolling from the top.  Well instead of going insane about it, Fr. Joseph decided - "I can just change the roll if it bothers me so much."  I can already tell you that things like this will probably sprout in Aaron and I's marriage.  I partially blame that fact that we are both going to be 30 years old and stuck in our ways of doing things, others are probably laziness or living by ourselves for too long!  It'll be an adjustment, but we just have to keep in mind that little menial stuff isn't going to change most likely, so either get over it or change it yourself.   

CHildren
This topic hasn't been discussed in great detail by Aaron and I, mainly just that we want kids, and we want to wait about a year after we marry to start trying for them.  Aaron totally threw me under the bus though and told Fr. Joseph that I was obsessed with babies.  I just love children and babies because they are so adorable and fun.  I am a girl, give me a break!  But yes, we talked about how having children is a big major change in your life and relationship.  Sure I love babies and think they are so cute, but Fr. Joseph was clear in saying that when the children come, that is when marriage really starts to feel like work, and you can really see what your made of as a couple.  And it may not be pretty, and we may be surprised to find that we weak people.  But we are here to lift each other up and help each other out, and we can't lose sight of that.  Also once they get older, we need to come together as far as our child rearing philosophy and back each other up.  Kids are smart and they will play us against each other like fiddles if we don't have a unified approach on things.  I feel like I got some good insight, but mostly it makes me want to make sure we are really really ready before we go down that road to parenthood.

CHanges
Lastly we discussed changes.  The people we marry in January aren't going to be the same in 5 years, or after children, or as we grow old together.  We talked about ways that he and I are there for each other, and what we bring to the relationship table.  I haven't ever been in a relationship that was significantly long term or anything, but from what I know of my long term friendships, this is absolutely true.  My best friend from high school is not the same girl as she was when we were 15, my best friend from college isn't the same girl that she was when we were 20.  I am certainly not the same as I was when I was younger.  Sure there are some things about us that are inherently who we are, but the more we learn and continue on a path we are on, we wind up in a different place.  Even if you stand completely still, the rest of the world is still moving.  So I think with this challenge the important things are flexibility, understanding, and managed expectations.  Flexibility in knowing they will change in some form or fashion, understanding for the reasons for change (and hopefully the changes are for the better), and managed expectations for things that may never change, though you might wish they would.  Like if you were marrying someone who thinks it is acceptable to go out in public in gym shorts, or socks with sandals for instance. 


These conversations we all had were merely intended to be a starting point for Aaron and I to continue upon.  I feel like we got some good advice and prospective on what marriage is going to take.  I really enjoyed meeting with Fr. Joseph, and hearing his humorous anecdotes about marriage. 


Fr. Joseph actually has a bunch of podcasts on Orthodox topics on Ancient Faith Radio - I've added the links below on his talks about marriage if anyone is interested!

http://ancientfaith.com/podcasts/orthodixie/just_an_old_fashioned_love_song
http://ancientfaith.com/podcasts/orthodixie/me_adam_you_helpmeet

Engagement Photos!

I was somewhat dreading these.  First of all, it is hotter than the surface of the sun in Houston these days.  Second of all, I had been meaning to lose 50 pounds before this photoshoot, and clearly that has yet to happen.  But we took our nice camera, our 3-4 different 'looks' and my little brother Jeff (our discount photographer, he only costs a McDonald's breakfast, lol) and hit the town at 8am on Saturday.  We sure were go getters!  I know a lot of real (no offense, Jeff) photographers have packages that include an engagement photo shoot and all of that, but I just wanted to get them done and over with because it isn't getting any cooler outside, and I wanted to get our Save the Dates ordered so we can get them out during the first part of July.  Plus, bonus, with real photographers you get maybe 2 locations max (or pay extra) but with Natalie in charge, we could have no less than 5.  I just like to be thorough, and we were already dressed up, and I didn't know which photos I was going to like...   But anyway.  We only needed two good photos for the photoshoot, and out of 500 or so we took, only about 30 were 'facebook worthy', lol.  It was kind of awkward at first, but it was pretty fun once we got over that. 
For anyone curious of some good engagement photo locales in Houston, we took pics at:
Discovery Green
Downtown on Preston St.
Bell Street Metro train stop (only because our reception venue is on Bell St.)
The phone booth in front of The Black Labrador on Montrose
Hermann Park

And now for the main event:

If you want to see all the 'facebook worthy' shots, they are on the Bells and Bows facebook page (you might need to 'like' it first) or you can click on the facebook page icon on the left sidebar and it'll get you there!

Groomsmen! (Finally!)

I have been waiting for Aaron to ask his groomsmen for MONTHS now, so at last I said, you have until June 1st, then I am asking them for you.  Sometimes you have to get assertive...

First up we have Aaron's best man, Doug!  Aaron knows Doug from college, and was Doug's best man when Doug got married!  Fun fact: the guest room in Doug's house has officially been named "The Aaron E Hinkley Guest Suite", lol.

Then we have Dylan (left) and Jeremy (middle) who are Aaron's good friends from college.  I will have to add some fun facts later, because it is too early in the morning to call Aaron.

And lastly, Aaron's future brother-in-law, my little brother Jeff.  Here they are on Thanksgiving, about to sample some Fourloko, the trashy caffeinated alcoholic beverage.  We once saw a lady on Intervention who drank it like it was going out of style, so we have always been curious.  It is pretty terrible, just as we suspected.

But anyway, that is the lineup, and I am so excited for everyone to be a part of our day!  Love these guys! :)

Fun in Las Vegas!

We took Aaron's family to Benihanna on Friday night - here is some of the action!

Awww shucks.

Group shot!

Happy B-day Aaron!

We went to the Cheesecake Factory with Angela for lunch :)

Aaron lost some money

Someone else lost money and got pretty mad about it

Aaron came back to win big money!  12000 pennies, to be exact

We met the happy couple for lunch at Mesa Grill, which is so yum to the max

Then we went out to the Yard House Saturday night

Chicken and waffles B-day breakfast of 30 year old champions

And birthday bowling!

Hi Annie

Erik, who is the best bowler in town, we found out

Cupcakes!

Oh yeah!

So fun, can't wait to go back! :)

Updates and things

Phew, I am taking a break from my endless to-do list to write a blog.  So things have been coming right along, I just feel like everything has a deadline of last week (which isn't really the case) so I am freaking out a little bit.  I could also be freaking out because in a mere 3 days Aaron and I are roadtripping to Las Vegas so I can meet his Mom and their family.  EEK.  I have never been super nervous about meeting parents of guys I have dated, I can be personable and friendly when I try ;), but never has it been more crucial for me to need to be liked (and I have never met parents of someone I was engaged to...).  I mean, I guess if they hate me I will just have to deal with that, but I really want them to think I am the best thing that has ever happened to Aaron, lol.  No pressure.  I think it will be fine though - but I will tell you guys all about it!  And in addition to the trip being to meeting the folks, I am co-hosting a bridal shower for my super awesome friend Angela, and Aaron is turning 30 (OMG, old.) that Saturday!  So I have been put in charge of decor and games for the shower - I don't want to ruin the surprise, so I will have to blog about these things after the fact.  And I am not certain what we are doing for Aaron's birthday yet either. I should probably add that to the to-do list for today.  

Oh yeah, so Friday, I had an appointment with Distinctive Details, so I brought my mom along and we looked at dozens of options for table linens, and the best chairs ever.  I really liked the owner and her assistant who helped us, and they have lots of experience outfitting the Petroleum Club, which was good.  I did feel nervous though, that not one word of price was mentioned.  I like setting my parameters before hand, so I don't fall in love with something I totally can't afford.  I think that is a wedding biz trick - they want you to fall in love with the thing, then they ask you to empty your wallet.  I see it on Say Yes to the Dress like every episode.  But I mean, it is a table cloth.  I am not going to fall in love with something so not that important.  My equation for loving inanimate objects is:

Love = Fabulousness x (The price I estimate it to cost - the price I actually pay for it)

Therefore, there is no love without a sense of a bargain in my book, no matter how high the fabulousness is.  Wedding vendors try to knock out that half of the equation.  I am on to you!!!

Anyway, after we had our appointment I took my Mom by the club to check it out, since she hadn't been.  She liked it, and I think the creativity wheels were a turning in her head of ideas to set up the space.  

Saturday night Aaron and I had fancy date night pt 2.  We went to *17 for dinner.  If you think you are experiencing deja vu, you are - this is the restaurant of one of the wedding reception hotel prospects I visited earlier this year.  The food was absolutely fantastic and tt is literally down the street from Jones Hall, where we caught the season closer - Dvorak's Cello Concerto.  They had a guest Cellist - Alisa Weilerstein, and she was incredible.  The whole performance was beautifully performed, as per usual.  Musical Fireworks, Indeed!

As you can see by his plate, Aaron thought the food was terrible

That is about all going on over here, break time is over!

Fancy Date Night!

My two loves, Aaron and cake.

Every now and again it is good to get dressed up and have a night on the town :)  We started the night at Ruggles, and had a delicious dinner and amazing dessert. (you are looking at a creme brulee cheesecake right there!)   Then off for a night of the arts.  Aaron gave me the greatest Christmas present last year - passes to the symphony!  I am endlessly in love with music, and most especially any music live.  Aaron isn't a huge fan of going to my weirdo indie rock shows, due to crowds and late nights in bars, and standing for hours - so symphony is much more 'our' speed.  We went to Exploring Mahler 10 : Through musical examples and images, Hans Graf and Brian Newhouse of Minnesota Public Radio/American Public Media will explore Deryck Cooke's completion of Mahler’s unfinished final masterpiece. - www.houstonsymphony.org

The Mahler story is really quite interesting.  At the time he began this 10th and final symphony of his career, he was going through bigtime personal struggles surrounding his beloved wife being a scandalous adulteress.  But Mahler became ill and soon wasn't able to complete the piece.  It wasn't until 50 years later when Deryck Cooke filled in the skeleton of work left by Mahler, and this version is what is the most popular version performed and recorded today.  The piece is really remarkable, and you can just feel in the score his loneliness, and just the varying feelings of fear, reflection, etc. upon knowing the end of his life was near.  It was a really great and moving performance!  

So yeah, we had a pretty fun fancy date night - and we will be having part 2 next weekend to use the last of our passes to see Dvorak's Cello Concerto!  "Ending the season with musical fireworks"  Yay!!!

Valentine's Day!

A posted this on my facebook wall :)

Valentine's Day was great!  A and I were keeping it low key because we have a wedding to pay for, so we stayed in - A made dinner, and we watched Intervention (like we do every Monday).  Only this time, there were presents and candy, yay :)

AND flowers!!! <3

I gave A some candy and a book called Groomology, so he can be the best Groom he can be, and a book on how to make vintage cocktails since he has seen into that subject a lot as of late.  You can check them out on Amazon via the side bar on your right.

I got candy, and a book about Orthodox Christianity, and the new Decemberists CD!  Good job A!!

The King Is Dead

A made a delicious steak recipe which involved nearly burning my kitchen down.  The video is above.  This is my very first youtube video ever, so I wasn't aware that I can't film sideways on my phone and rotate it later, so you will have to turn your head to get the full effect.  My apologies.

Steak auPoivre recipe

Yum!!!

I am going to be a wife!!!

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lol.

And so the journey begins.

Well, it began November 12, 2010, but close enough.  

So I had known A for 3 years, and at this point we spent just about every spare moment together.  A and I had dated for about 4 months when we first met in 2007.  It didn't work out, so we went about our separate lives.  Well a month or two passed and we got to talking again and a friendship formed.  And occasional dinner meetups or trips to the movies turned into seeing one another daily.  And that has been the story for about the last 2 years.  Just friends though. 

Now I, at the time, was 28 years old and single - so I couldn't go 5 minutes without someone asking me when I was going to settle down or at very least find a boyfriend.  So as any late 20's single gal can attest - that was super annoying.  But really, of course I wanted that.  Something with a promising future.  But I was happy.  I liked my job, I was back in school working on my masters degree, I had a great friends, and a great friend A who I love being around.  If it ain't broke, why fix it?  But secretly I really really wanted to be A's girlfriend again, but I was playing it cool.

Well it was a random Friday in November, and A and I had made plans to go to Houston's Nutcracker Market - this giant Christmas craft show they do annually to benefit the Houston ballet.  We are both big fans of Christmas so I thought it might be fun to check it out.  I invited our friends J and M along too.  So we walked around the show, grabbed dinner after and went home.  A and I are neighbors in the same apartment building so we parted ways to our own residences.  Since we are such nerds, we got right on the instant messenger and were chatting - as we do most evenings.  Truth be told, we were chatting and I was being kind of mopey.  A's really good friend Ag got engaged on Monday of that week.  I was over the moon excited for her and her fiance E.  It was a whirlwind romance that went from 0 to 60!  I mean, I think marriage is such an exciting and wonderful life event that is so incredibly special - how could anyone not be excited?!  And weddings are always a blast!!!  But as per usual, whenever another friend or acquaintance gets engaged I always had to wonder 'when is it going to be my turn?'  So I was being a girl about that whole thing, and then I hear a knock on the door.  Mind you, it is about 11pm at night, so I assume I am totally about to get murdered or something... but it is A, and I am totally confused.  What is he doing here?  He hands me a card with on it that reads: You are the whipped cream on the pumpkin pie of life.  And then he gets down on one knee, ring in hand and asks me to marry him.  Wait..., what?  I am stunned, but I say yes.  My wait is over.  And through the next few weeks I learn that A had decided he wanted to ask me a while ago, and was just waiting for a good time to ask.  It was going to be at the Nutcracker Market, but I invited friends along so A decided against it (whoops).  But then A found another opportunity that night for good timing because it got me to quit whining about being single, lol.  Romance is overrated! ;)

So we did things kind of out of order, but we are together and engaged and couldn't be happier!

Now it is time to plan the party!!!