Natalie vs. Irene

Does anyone still read this?? lol

Things have been CRAZY busy in the past weeks so I have had zero blogging time.  I am alive and well though, in case anyone was wondering ;)

I have about a billion posts of wedding recaps and such to come, but I feel inspired to address an issue I am having in my new married home.  My step-daughter Irene.

This picture does not do justice to how fat she actually is.

Sure, she looks innocent and cute enough.  Now I wont be over dramatic and call her the devil or anything.  But there is something very mean and unholy about her.  No lie.

And Aaron loves this creature as if he birthed her himself.  He is so openly affectionate to her that it sometimes makes me oddly jealous.  I once asked if he were hanging onto both me and Irene over the edge of a cliff and could only save one of us, who would he save: and he hesitated!  And I think I was chosen by default because cats usually land on their feet when dropped.  Thank you professor science.  Not only does he love Irene, but he has a pretty weird affinity for all cat things. But yeah, Irene always gets the benefit of the doubt.  When she scratches you and makes you bleed everywhere - she is just playing.  When she hisses at me incessantly - it is because I am making her feel backed into a corner (somehow?).  I mean, who is in charge here?!  Sometimes I feel badly that I may have robbed some lonely cat lady out of her soul mate...

Never in my life have I been a cat owner.  My Mom is allegedly allergic, but if she had been faking it all this time I would totally understand.  But nonetheless we are dog people.  Small, non-drooling, non-shedding, cute sweater wearing dog people.  Being the introvert that I am, I thought being a cat person would be right up my alley.  Plus some of my friends have cats, and they are sweet or non bothersome or do funny stuff like crawl inside of the couch.  Low maintenance pets are pets I enjoy.  They don't wake you up at the crack of dawn to be let out, and they don't bark when you are trying to talk on the phone, or want you to play with them while you are trying to focus on your tv show.  Dogs could learn to chill out every now and then.

Irene drives me nuts in so many ways.  I can be somewhat forgiving of things she cannot control.  I know it is not her fault that there is cat fur flippin' everywhere.  I have my clothing hanging up in the closet, and they still get fur on them somehow?!  It is circulating in the air or something!  I do take into account that there has not been a proper fur management plan in effect in this space.  

Then there is the fact that she is mean.  She is more mean to me than Aaron, but Aaron makes excuses for her meanness.  Everywhere I try to walk she jumps in front of me, then turns around and hisses at me.  If my hand or arm gets within 3 feet of her,  she will try to swat me with her razor blade claws.  She escaped out of the apartment when I was leaving for work this morning and i got all scratched up trying to corral her back inside.  Vicious.

Please excuse my sausage fingers and two week old manicure.

And when you sleep, she jumps on you.  She jumps on all sorts of things.  She knocked my vase of Valentine's flowers off the bookshelf.  She also claws things.  So any dreams of having nice furniture are out the window.  I don't understand why people think cats are worthwhile pets?

And I hit a new low when I tried to internet research how to get her to like me.  I mean, wtf.

How to gain a cat's trust.

See all these special things you have to do to or for this animal only so you won't be harmed when getting near it??  You know what I had to do to get my dog to like me?  Absolutely nothing!  Dogs understand the pecking order in the house, and that they are the animal.  

So dealing with the cat has been a challenge.  Anyone have any pointers of how to stop hating your spouse's pet, lol?